#025 How to Help Your Pre-Teen Build Real-Life Friendships (Beyond the Screen)

In today’s digital world, many pre-teens feel more at ease building friendships online—through gaming, texting, or social media. And while these virtual relationships can hold value, many parents wonder:
“Is my child developing the real-world social skills they need to thrive?”

The answer is: they can—with the right support.

By building on what they’re already doing well and guiding them through small, real-life interactions, you can help your child grow their confidence and learn to connect face-to-face.

Acknowledge Their Digital Strengths

Before encouraging in-person social skills, start by validating what they’re already good at.

Online gaming and chatting require communication, teamwork, and connection. These are real social skills—they just happen in a different format.

Say something like:
“You’ve built some great friendships online. That shows how strong your connection skills are. Let’s see how you can use those same skills to make friends at school or in the neighborhood.”

This helps your child feel capable—not behind—and sets a positive tone for the next step.

Set One Small, Realistic Goal

In-person friendships don’t have to start with a big group hangout.

Begin with a manageable step:

• Invite a classmate over for a snack

• Ask someone to play a video game together—in person

• Join a group at recess or say hi to a neighbor

The goal is progress, not perfection. These little moments build momentum and reduce the pressure that can come with social interaction.

Celebrate Effort (Not Just Results)

If your child steps out of their comfort zone, celebrate that effort—whether the plan worked out or not.

Say something like:
“I’m proud of you for asking. That took courage!”

Recognizing the bravery it takes to try is more valuable than focusing on whether it led to the perfect outcome. And that encouragement makes it more likely they’ll try again.

Try This: One-Week Social Challenge

Challenge your child to do one small thing this week to build a face-to-face connection.

Examples:

• Say “hi” to a new classmate

• Ask someone to sit with them at lunch

• Join a new school club or team

Afterward, talk about how it felt—and celebrate the effort. Over time, these little steps add up to real growth.

Why This Matters

The ability to build and maintain real-life friendships is one of the most important skills your child will ever develop.

When kids learn to confidently interact with peers offline, they feel more balanced, less dependent on screens, and more connected to the world around them.

Social confidence doesn’t come from force—it comes from support, practice, and praise. With your help, your pre-teen can thrive both online and off.

Want more tools to help your child build confidence and connection?

👉 Download the free ebook: How to Create Family

Inside, you’ll find clear strategies that help your family strengthen communication, create structure, and build lifelong emotional resilience.