The Truth About Tantrums

“How do I stop my child from having tantrums?”

You’re asking the wrong question.

Every mom has seen it, and most have lived it: the code red meltdown in the middle of Target. Your child has totally lost it, their screams echo from one end of the store to the other. Shoppers glance over — some sympathetic, some judgmental. A few are thinking, that kid is done, and others are silently rooting for the mom to survive it.

Here’s the Create Family way to look at it: tantrums aren’t random explosions. They’re communication. They’re your child screaming with frustration because every earlier cue went unseen, unheard, or unacknowledged.

Easy kids? Or easy to mislabel?

We’ve all heard it. Someone meets the mom with fewer tantrums and says, “Oh, you got an easy one.” Or, “Just wait, you’ll get the tough one next time.”

And then there’s TikTok advice — like the influencer I saw recently with thousands of comments — saying to “ignore the tantrum” or “don’t even acknowledge it.”

Here’s where I strongly disagree: ignoring is probably what got you there in the first place. Maybe your child was tired, hungry, or trying to tell you something important. Either way, the tantrum isn’t about defiance. It’s about unmet needs.

And this is where labels trip us up. When you hear “neuro-development,” you strip away the life force of a child. When you hear “strong-willed,” you strip responsibility. When you hear “ADHD,” you make a label out of the way your child learns.

The art of communication has been lost in all the noise. Studies even show ADHD traits connect to genius. Wouldn’t that make sense, since the school system was designed to produce factory workers, not visionaries?

What if we flip the script?

Think about it this way: ask your husband to ignore you when you tell him something important. Then have him drag you around to do things you don’t want to do, while he talks at you instead of to you. How long would you keep it together? Adults just cover it better. For kids, the tantrum is the cover coming off.

So what happened before the meltdown? Before your child “lost it”? That’s the place to look. That’s the strategy point.

The Create Family way

When you start noticing the cues, you can change your tactics before the tantrum ever happens. Parenting isn’t about demanding obedience. It’s about building long-term survival and creative goals. It’s about raising kids who know how to communicate, and families that know how to listen.

Because in the end, tantrums aren’t about your child being “bad.” They’re about your child being human. And your response can be the difference between surviving childhood and raising a generation ready to thrive.

Feeling like the little things set you off more than they should?

Most reactivity doesn’t actually have to do with your kids. It’s about the weight you’re carrying, the plates stacked too high, the endless pull on your energy, and that sense that even the smallest argument could push you past your limit.

I know how heavy that feels. And I want you to know you don’t have to stay in that place.

That’s why I created the Mom Survival Guide: Clear the Chaos.

This isn’t another system that makes you feel behind before you even start. It’s a simple reset, a way to quiet the noise, clear the confusion, and take back those “where do I even start?” moments so you can show up as the mom you’ve always wanted to be.

Inside, you’ll find small but powerful steps that bring back:

• Calm when your home feels overwhelming

• Clarity when you’re pulled in every direction

• Confidence that you can lead your family without losing yourself

👉 Download your free guide now and let’s take that first step together.