#57 Hang In There, Mama (But Buckle Up)

You ever hear someone say, “They’re just being a teenager. Let them live a little”?

As if “living” automatically includes drugs, alcohol, and throwing parties they’ll never remember?

I don’t buy it.

And when I was raising teens, I heard that line more than once. Usually right after I had to step in, hold the line, and go with my gut.

Let me tell you about one of those moments.

My son had a friend. The kind you instantly know is trouble. He was charming, fast-talking, always pushing limits. I saw it. But I also knew that cutting off the friendship outright would only push my son further toward him. So I stayed close. I observed. I picked my moment.

Then came the Beverly Hills party plan.

My son was bought in. Fully.
He and this friend were going to throw a party that would "go down in history."
And I knew with everything in me... this was going to go bad. Fast.

What followed was not calm.
There were tears.
There was yelling.
And yes, there was me, grabbing my son by the arm and leading him out the door.

The other adults told me I was being too much.
That I needed to let him have fun.
That they did this stuff when they were young, and they’re fine now.

But are they?

Why is blackout drinking and risky behavior treated like some rite of passage?
Why is it considered “living” to lose your judgment, your memory, or your values?

That night, I went to bed in tears. I hated the way it went down. I questioned everything.
But the next morning, I got the call.

The party was raided.
Kids were arrested.
And that friend of my son? He was found passed out naked in the neighbor’s front yard and had to be carried home.

That same parent who told me to chill? She called and said, “You did the right thing.”

My son heard every word. He looked at me with a different posture. A different tone.

“Thanks, Mom. I didn’t realize it would get that bad.”

In that moment, something shifted.
Not just in him. In me too.

I realized that parenting isn’t about always being liked.
It’s about doing the right thing when it matters.
And it’s those moments—when you hold the line, even when it costs you—that stick.

Because showing integrity is far more powerful than talking about it.

Mindset Shift

When your teen starts pushing the edges and craving experience, your role isn’t to loosen your grip.
It’s to tighten your clarity.

You are not the fun police. You are the guide.
The parent. The example.

This is not the time to shrink back.
It’s the time to lock in.

One Tip for Today:

Before you step in, ask yourself this:
What do I want my teen to know about courage, consequences, and character 10 years from now?
Now respond from that place.
The stronger version of you is already in the room. Let her speak.

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