#055 Your Child Doesn’t Need a Label... They Need a Leader

There is so much talk right now about mental disorders that it makes parents feel obligated to either become therapists or bring their child to a “professional” to evaluate them.

And I get it. When your child is acting out, you want answers. You want direction. But the truth is, the biggest gift I was ever given as a mother was the day I brought my son to my stepmom hoping she could help—and she said something I’ll never forget:

“This is your child. And you’re going to need to do it yourself.”

At the time, I didn’t know what I was doing. I wasn’t certain of my abilities to handle it. What I did know is that my son had enthusiastically announced he was a Tyrannosaurus Rex…

…and proceeded to bite people.

This was a P-R-O-B-L-E-M.

Playdates were cancelled.
People were hurt.
And I was spinning on what to do.

But I’ll tell you what I didn’t do.
I didn’t decide my son had a behavior problem.
I didn’t label him.
And I didn’t allow his preschool to label him either.

When they tried to slap a label on him, I pulled him and found another school.

Instead of chasing a diagnosis, I worked with him.

And then something unexpected happened.

One day, my dad was watching the kids. My son bit his brother—and my dad bit him back. Yes, it left a mark. But he never bit another person again.

(And no, I’m not saying you should go around biting your children. That’s not the point.)

After working with families and children for over 20 years, I’ve noticed something: moms are quick to jump to conclusions.

Not because they’re looking for a label.
But because they believe a label comes with instructions.

It doesn’t.

Labels don’t come with solutions. And the more complicated the solution, the less likely it is to work.

Here’s the truth:
The fundamental solution is usually the simplest one.

What your child needs is not a diagnosis.
What they need is you.
Your leadership.
Your clarity.
Your steady presence when they feel out of control.

You don’t need to become a therapist.
You need to become the leader of your home.

You were built for this.
And your child is counting on you.

Tired of losing your 💩 just to get your kids to help out?
Grab our free guide: “Why Do I Have to Lose My 💩 to Get My Kids to Listen to Me?” and start shifting the dynamic in your home—without yelling, bribing, or begging.
And if you're looking for real support from moms who get it, don’t miss the Create Family Community—you’ll find the link right next to this blog.