#053 Why Allowances Don't Work

Let’s talk about something we all try at some point: Allowance.

“If you finish your chores, I’ll give you...”
We’ve all said it. It feels harmless. Motivating, even.

But here’s what kids actually learn:

• I only do work if I get paid.

• If I don’t care about the allowance, I don’t have to help.

• Mom’s not serious until she’s yelling.

Suddenly, the family starts to feel more like a job site. You’re the overworked boss, and they’re the employees trying to do the minimum.

And you didn’t sign up to manage a tiny union.
You’re trying to raise a team.
 

Allowances train external motivation. But kids thrive when they feel ownership and pride.

Because one day they won’t get paid to keep a home, love their family, or show up for their future.

They need to learn to contribute because it’s part of who they are, not what they get. It's about learning how to be a member of a team.  We usually think of team being something they are taught at school in sports or clubs.  But the first team our children are part of is family.  

Learning how to contribute and support is essential to success in life. If they are taught that they get paid to contribute and support they are being set up to employee, clock-punching mentality.  

I don't know, maybe this sounds familiar or a little too close to home, don't worry.  I got you, and it is not too late to change it around.  Instead of focusing on the payment focus on how it improves the family.  

Make the celebration about the family doing better together and growing stronger.  When you create purpose your going to find the shift at home, arguments cease.  Strength is built from within.