#048 How to Handle Temper Tantrums Without Losing Your Cool

Temper tantrums: not exactly the highlight reel of parenting, right?

But here’s the thing—they’re normal. And they’re not just little explosions of emotion. They’re actually signals. Clues. Invitations for us, as moms, to pause and lead.

In our home, I’ve learned that tantrums usually don’t come out of nowhere. They come from a child feeling something big and not yet having the words to say it.

And while it can be frustrating (especially when you’ve got a cart full of groceries and a child full of opinions), it’s also a chance to practice the kind of parenting that builds long-term trust and connection.

Let’s talk about how to handle tantrums with intention—and a little strategy.

Start with What’s Really Going On

Before reacting, ask yourself a few quick questions:

• Are they hungry, tired, or overstimulated?
  These three things are tantrum triggers in disguise. A snack and a nap can be magic.

• Are they trying to tell me something they can’t say?
  A lot of tantrums are actually communication breakdowns. Your child might not have the words yet, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have something to say.

• Did I give them any warning or expectations?
  Kids (and adults!) handle transitions better when they know what’s coming. A simple, “We’re going to the store. We’ll be back in a little while,” goes further than you’d think.

Prep for the Hard Moments

You’ve probably been in this situation: you have to run into the store and you have to bring the little one—even when you know it’s going to be tough.

This is where a little prep goes a long way.

Pack a small “peace bag” with:

• A coloring book and crayons

• A favorite toy or stuffed animal

• A healthy snack

• An interactive book with flaps or textures

It’s not about bribing them into silence—it’s about setting the scene for success when they don’t yet have the tools to do it on their own.

Speak Their Language (Even If They Can’t Speak Yet)

Even if your child doesn’t talk yet, they still understand more than you think.

Tell them what’s happening.
Explain what you’re doing.
Narrate the day, even the simple stuff.

Say things like:

• “We’re going to the store and then we’ll go home.”

• “I’m going to lay you in your crib now.”

• “You’re upset. I see that. I’m here.”

When we treat our kids like they understand us, they begin to trust us more—even if they can’t say it back yet.

Know That This Is Your Training Too

Tantrums aren’t just part of childhood development—they’re part of parent development too.

No matter how many generations have wrestled with this, there’s no perfect formula. But there is this:
You get to decide how you respond.
You get to create your own policy, your own procedures, your own tone of leadership in your home.

And that tone? It can include empathy. Gentleness. Patience.
Even on the hard days.

Here’s the Bottom Line

Temper tantrums are going to happen. But how you handle them will shape your child’s emotional world more than the tantrum itself.

So next time the storm hits in aisle 6 or right before bedtime, remember:

• Check for basic needs.

• Tune in instead of reacting.

• Be honest, kind, and clear.

• And lead with calm—even if your child can’t yet.

You’re doing more than managing a moment.
You’re raising a human.

And even the messy parts are worth it.

Tired of losing your 💩 just to get your kids to help out?

Grab our free guide: “Why Do I Have to Lose My 💩 to Get My Kids to Listen to Me?” and start shifting the dynamic in your home—without yelling, bribing, or begging.

And if you're looking for real support from moms who get it, don’t miss the Create Family Community—you’ll find the link right next to this blog.