#038 Trusting Your Parenting Instincts in a Broken System

Wearing multiple hats is a defining aspect of motherhood. From protector and guide to chef and chauffeur, the responsibilities are vast—and vital—in shaping future generations. But finding balance in these roles can feel like a delicate dance, especially when it comes to navigating school systems, parenting expectations, and your child’s emotional well-being.

Let’s talk about how to stand strong in your role, especially when outside influences make you question your instincts.

Why Balance Matters

Parenting today often feels like an uphill battle. Advice is coming at you from every direction—Instagram posts, school policies, even other parents who seem to have it all figured out. But here’s what I’ve learned: balance doesn’t come from pleasing everyone—it comes from trusting yourself.

The Noise Around Parenting “Styles”

Today’s moms are constantly told how to parent: gentle, intentional, authoritative, permissive, lawnmower, helicopter… the list goes on. Social media floods you with advice, and sometimes, that advice comes from people with no family of their own. In fact, a recent survey showed that 65% of mothers get their parenting advice from Instagram—and some of the most-followed influencers on the topic come from broken families or have never raised children themselves.

It’s no wonder so many moms feel overwhelmed and unsure.

When Teacher Authority Crosses Into Home Life

Let’s be clear: many teachers care deeply about their students. They chose this profession to make a difference—and many of them do. But the system they work within is broken. Teachers today are expected to manage classrooms with limited tools and are often required to label, diagnose, or refer kids for evaluations just to access support services.

That system, though well-meaning, can create rifts between parents and children.

And here’s the truth: your child’s teacher ultimately works for your family. They’re there to support your family’s goals—not override them. If something doesn’t sit right with you, it’s okay to speak up. You are the executive of your household, and no one knows your child better than you do.

My Personal Story: When I Should Have Trusted My Gut

When my son was young, I was called into his preschool because he was biting and hitting. I had never seen that behavior at home. But when I tried to explain this to the director, she looked at me like I was in denial—as if all parents say that. I doubted myself. I went home and tried to change everything… even though he wasn’t having problems at home.

Eventually, we switched preschools. The new director smiled, gave me a hug, and said, “Don’t worry. We’ve got this.” My son never bit another child again.

But I made a mistake. Later, for convenience, I moved him back to the original school. And guess what? The behavior returned. Even my son was upset with me—and rightfully so. His original school environment simply wasn’t the right fit. And that’s okay.

What’s not okay is pretending that labels explain everything. There was nothing “wrong” with my son. I wish I had trusted myself earlier and stood my ground. That experience taught me: environment matters. Gut instinct matters. And labels often don’t tell the full story.

Don’t Let Labels Define Your Child

Since the pandemic, child diagnoses have increased by 40% globally. There are certainly times when intervention is helpful. But there are also times when kids are just… kids. Tired. Overstimulated. Needing a better fit.

And if you’ve ever been told something about your child that didn’t feel right to you, please listen to that voice inside. Trust your observations. Ask questions. And don’t assume that the school always knows best.

Practical Solutions That Actually Help

Here’s what I’ve learned over the years—things I wish I had known earlier.

🟣 Look Beneath the Surface

When your child is struggling in school, don’t just focus on the behavior. Ask:
When was the last time they were doing well?
What subject did they love—or at least tolerate?
Was something different in the environment?

Make sure your child is well-fed and well-rested when you ask. A tired or emotional child might tell you they’ve always hated school, but that’s rarely true. Dig deeper.

🟣 Build Clear Communication Channels

Stay in regular contact with your child’s teacher, but remember: they are one voice—not the only voice. If possible, advocate for systems in your school that allow students to speak directly to a trusted adult when things aren’t going well. Your child’s voice matters too.

🟣 Trust Yourself

When something feels off, speak up. You are not being “difficult” or “emotional.” You are being a mom. You’re advocating for your child. And your voice is just as valid—if not more so—than anyone else’s in the room.

🟣 Strengthen Your Support System

You’re not meant to parent alone. That’s why we created the Create Family Community—a space where moms like you can find real support, encouragement, and strategy. You don’t have to second-guess every decision or navigate this journey in isolation.

If you’re reading this blog, there’s a link to the community right next to this post. We’d love for you to join us.

There’s no perfect roadmap for parenting, especially in today’s world. But when you trust your instincts, stay aligned with your values, and advocate from a place of strength—you create a home where your children can thrive.

Thank you for being the kind of parent who doesn’t give up. Keep leading your family with clarity, compassion, and courage.