#028 Define Your Own Normal: Why Setting Family Goals Changes Everything

Starting something big—whether it's launching a business, leading a household, or building a legacy—takes more than hustle. It takes clarity, intention, and a refusal to play by everyone else’s rules.

One of my favorite examples of this is Todd Graves, founder of Raising Cane’s. Graves built a billion-dollar business, working 90-hour weeks at the start. But he didn’t sacrifice his family in the process. He redefined what balance looked like. His wife would bring the kids to his office so they could eat dinner together. On vacations, he’d wake up before sunrise to work—so the rest of the day could be for his family.

Was it typical? No.

Was it intentional? Absolutely.

Why Family Goals Matter

Graves’ story is a reminder:

When you know what your family values, you can build around it—even in the busiest seasons of life.

Family goals help you define your version of success. They give direction and purpose, guiding your time and decisions so that your most important relationships stay centered—even when life gets chaotic.

My Story: What “Normal” Looked Like for Us

I’ve lived this too. (maybe not quite to billionaire status)

There were seasons where work was non-stop, and schedules were packed. But we made intentional decisions to protect what mattered.

For us, that meant dinners were non-negotiable. Even if it meant adjusting our entire routine, we sat down together. Sometimes it was a quick bite, sometimes it was laughter and storytelling. But it was ours. And it grounded us in the middle of the whirlwind.

How to Define Your Family’s “Normal”

You don’t need to follow what other families are doing.
You just need to create a rhythm that reflects your values. Here’s how:

1. Identify Your Core Values

What matters most to your family? Time together? Honesty? Spiritual growth? Define your guiding principles before setting goals.

2. Get Creative with Time

Don't wait for perfect conditions. Find small but consistent ways to connect—like a 15-minute walk, a shared podcast, or breakfast check-ins.

3. Set Boundaries Around Priorities

Protect what’s important. Whether it’s a family night, a Sunday reset, or morning cuddles—treat it like an appointment.

4. Delegate and Release Control

Balance isn’t doing everything. It’s doing what matters most. Let go of the non-essentials and ask for help where you can.

5. Revisit and Adjust

Seasons change. So do schedules, energy levels, and kid needs. Review your goals often and shift where necessary.

The Outcome: Purposeful, Personal, Powerful

Families that define their own “normal” don’t just survive—they thrive.

They aren’t held hostage by cultural expectations or overwhelmed by comparison.

They build homes that reflect who they are, what they believe in, and where they’re going.

That’s the kind of family life worth fighting for.

Take the First Step

If you’re ready to stop chasing someone else’s version of normal and start building a family aligned with your vision—download my free guide:

How to Create Family: The 3 Strategies to Build a Stronger Home

And don’t forget to check out the Create Family Community—you’ll find the link right next to this post. It's a space for moms just like you who are building intentional homes with clarity and strength.

There’s no one right way to parent.
There’s just your way—and the strategy to help you lead it with confidence.

Let’s redefine what balance looks like. Let’s build strong families our way.