#010 How to Get Your Child to Help Without the Battle

Are you feeling ignored and frustrated because your child (anywhere between 6 and 16) just won’t help out around the house?

You’re not alone. You don’t want to yell or punish, but the lack of structure is starting to feel like a disservice—not just to your sanity, but to your child’s future.

Here’s the good news: kids want to grow up. But if everything is done for them, why would they?

Chores are not about control—they’re about contribution.

And contribution gives kids confidence, responsibility, and pride.

One Reason That Stands Out to Me

There are lots of reasons chores matter. But this is the one I keep coming back to:

Chores help kids feel that becoming an adult is a good thing.

Growing up should feel like progress. And when responsibility is met with new privileges, kids start to want that next step.

That was one of my jobs as a mom—figuring out games, incentives, and new levels of responsibility that made my boys feel like they were leveling up. No, it wasn’t “natural”—it was intentional.

One day, I asked my grown son what stood out from his childhood.

He said, “Graduating to the adult table.”

At first, I cringed a little. But when I asked why, he told me it felt like a real accomplishment—like he was becoming someone. And I realized: that moment was symbolic of a whole mindset we’d built together.

5 Steps to Get Your Child to Do Chores (Without the Fight)

1. Start Early and Keep It Simple

Young children can begin with basic tasks. Don’t criticize—praise the effort. Let them feel helpful, even if it’s messy.

2. Gradually Increase Responsibility

By 5 or 6, kids can:

• Do their laundry

• Cook a simple breakfast

• Take out the trash

• Feed the pets

• Get themselves ready for school

These are life skills, not punishments.

3. Link Responsibilities with Privileges

This is the secret sauce. Show your child what they can earn by being responsible—later bedtimes, extra screen time, special treats. You're reinforcing: more trust = more freedom.

4. Make the Purpose Clear

Kids thrive when they understand the why. Let them know: “We all contribute because this is our team. Our home works when we all show up.”

5. Acknowledge Their Growth

Celebrate wins. Highlight progress. Let them hear, “You’re really stepping up. I see it.”
That alone builds momentum.

Why This Works

Chores aren’t just about keeping the house clean. They teach:

• Teamwork

• Empathy

• Follow-through

• Self-worth

• Pride in progress

When kids contribute, they feel like they matter—not because of praise, but because they’re part of the engine that makes the family work.

And that? That’s a life skill.

Want to build a family where contribution isn’t a battle—but a way of life?

👉 Download the free ebook: How to Create Family

You’ll get the strategy I used to raise confident, capable, helpful kids—without nagging or yelling.