#005 Our 10-on, 20-off Rule: Teaching Kids to Manage Their Own Screen Time

Screens aren’t going anywhere, and I’m not here to tell you to toss every device in your house.
But I am here to tell you what happened in our home when screen time started to take over—and how we got ahead of it without yelling, punishing, or pulling plugs.

Recognizing the Impact

At first, it was subtle.
My kids weren’t misbehaving, but I noticed something was off.

They were:

• More irritable after screen time

• Zoning out in conversations

• Losing interest in creative play or time outside

And I was tired of feeling like the “bad guy” every time I tried to shut it down.

That’s when we created our 10-on, 20-off rule.

The Strategy: 10 Minutes On, 20 Minutes Off

We started small. For every 10 minutes of screen time, they had to follow it with 20 minutes of something offscreen—playing, reading, biking, drawing, whatever got their brain and body back in gear.

At first, I set the timers.
Then, they did.

Eventually, they didn’t need a timer at all. They just… got it.

And we kept building from there—widening the spread and getting them out of the house more than they were ever on screens.

Why It Worked

This wasn’t a punishment. It was a reset.
It helped interrupt that zombie-mode that screens can create and reminded them: you are in charge of your time.

It also gave them back a sense of choice—not just “Mom said no,” but “I get to go do something else.”

They began to self-monitor.
They started making better decisions on their own.

That’s the point of family tools. Not control—capability.

The Long Game

We’re not raising kids who follow timers forever.
We’re raising kids who know how to lead themselves—even in a world full of distractions.

If your child is struggling with screen time, try this strategy.
Start where you are. Adjust the timing. Talk them through it.

But most of all—believe they can do it.
Because they can.

If you’re looking for long-term strategies—not tips or tricks—to help your child thrive…

👉 Download the free ebook: How to Create Family
You’ll learn the foundational tools to build connection, structure, and independence—starting today.